Sunday, April 13, 2008
I don't know what had got into me cause i kept thinking of Razil.
Thinking about his past instilled me with mixed feelings.
I hate the thought of the "smallest mistake" he had ever made in his life.
Somehow it brings me back during the time i cried in front of the computer,reading the words that flow slowly down the screen and I,trying to understand what was really going on.
I hate the thought when he lied to me as if i was the stupiest woman on earth.
GOSH!! how i hate him so much at that point of tym.
It hurt so bad and only god knows how much pain i endured.
The point is,can i really forget what happened?
Can i move on happily with him without thinking of his past?
I duno.
There's alot of un-answered questions that kept playing in my mind.
What if we both saw "her"?
How will he/she react?
What should i do if they decieded to talk?
Should i let them talk? or should i pull him away?
Can i forget that unfortunate moment?
Can Razil and I be normal after that? or will we quarrel?
What if he fall for "her"?
FUCK!!
i duno..BLANK!
For now,Im proud to say he changed for good.
So far,he really kept his promises.
After NS,i can see the improvement he made in this life.
He wanted to be a better person and i can see it coming.
He achieved so much during his serving in NS and im very proud of him.
Guess i really need to forgo his past to make this relationship that we hope will lead to a happy ending last eternity.
*insyallah*
Thinking about his past instilled me with mixed feelings.
I hate the thought of the "smallest mistake" he had ever made in his life.
Somehow it brings me back during the time i cried in front of the computer,reading the words that flow slowly down the screen and I,trying to understand what was really going on.
I hate the thought when he lied to me as if i was the stupiest woman on earth.
GOSH!! how i hate him so much at that point of tym.
It hurt so bad and only god knows how much pain i endured.
The point is,can i really forget what happened?
Can i move on happily with him without thinking of his past?
I duno.
There's alot of un-answered questions that kept playing in my mind.
What if we both saw "her"?
How will he/she react?
What should i do if they decieded to talk?
Should i let them talk? or should i pull him away?
Can i forget that unfortunate moment?
Can Razil and I be normal after that? or will we quarrel?
What if he fall for "her"?
FUCK!!
i duno..BLANK!
For now,Im proud to say he changed for good.
So far,he really kept his promises.
After NS,i can see the improvement he made in this life.
He wanted to be a better person and i can see it coming.
He achieved so much during his serving in NS and im very proud of him.
Guess i really need to forgo his past to make this relationship that we hope will lead to a happy ending last eternity.
*insyallah*
Love, Riyah
